Obsessions. We all know someone that we believe has an obsession. In todays world it is not hard to find the workaholic, alcoholic, sexaholic, drug addict, or compulsive gambler. When walking down the street, one can not help but notice the incredible number of people who are obese, or who are heading towards that state. Years ago it was odd to see someone who was terribly overweight. Today it is the norm. Fit people are the minority in todays world. That is sad.

The fact that this society, the American society is overweight is indicative of many factors. Obviously Americans are not happy, otherwise they would take better care of themselves. Obesity is not just an issue of vanity. It is a matter of health and quality of life. Human beings who are 30 pounds overweight or more, do not enjoy the same quality of life that a person who is at their healthy weight does.

Obesity masks various underlying issues. As a personal trainer, I have met hundreds of clients. What I have discovered is that, every single person eats for their own specific reason. One client hates to eat. He considers eating a chore. He resents having to stop what he is doing just to eat. Another client eats because she is afraid to be hungry "later". Another eats because the food is there. Another client eats because he was taught to eat what was on his plate. Another client eats because he is obsessive in many other areas in his life. His obsessive personality causes him to eat more than he should, more often than he should. Another client eats so she can be skinny. Another client eats because she finds comfort in it.

How we think about food gives us tremendous insight into how we think.

If we have trouble controlling what goes into our mouth, chances are we have trouble dealing with our emotions as well. If we crave food, we crave something much deeper. Food was given to us by God to nourish our bodies. Our mothers fed us to keep us alive. We were created to have a wonderful relationship with food, rather than an abrasive one. By looking out my car window, I know in my spirit something has gone terribly wrong.

One of my clients eats because when she was a younger girl, her father had a way of making her feel like she was never enough. He criticized her weight. He past comments on her dress, her make-up, her mannerisms, and every conceivable aspect of her personal being. She knew he wanted her thin. His condescending way made her feel powerless to defend herself against his overbearing personality. Because on one level she craved daddy's attention, in his presence she denied herself food, just to please him. Behind the scenes however, beneath her raw flesh a battle raged. When she was alone she would eat. She would eat and in the process begin to satisfy her ego. Her ego had been bruised by his thoughtlessness. By consuming thousands of sugary calories, she balanced the scales. Her ego felt one up again within her own psyche. Unfortunately a dangerous cycle had been born.

Another client of mine eats because her husband gorges himself with food. She absorbs his anxiety and jumps on board when he begins to ravage food. She eats because he eats. She eats because she says he makes her nervous. She eats because he does not want to eat alone. She eats when she is not hungry. She eats to help maintain the psychological dysfunctional balance that permeates her home.

Anyone with a food issue is in an abusive relationship with not only food, but with themselves. Food was put on this earth to delight us, not torture us. When we place food in our mouth, the feeling is supposed to be one of great pleasure. All too often I hear people tell me they hate themselves from the moment that put the fork in their food. There is something wrong with their thinking pattern.

In order to enjoy food, one must KNOW THY SELF. When we know our own self, we honor our being. We have found the path to peace and harmony. We no longer walk in the shadows of anxiety created by obsessive thoughts. We don't want to escape reality by gorging ourselves, or by having affairs. We run from chaos and cling to harmony. The problem is most people don't even know they don't know their SELF.

I am a food addict in recovery. Everyday I struggle with issues that surround food. Although no one would know by looking at me, it is my truth nonetheless. I understand the invisible obsessive thoughts that engulf the mind. I know the pain of feeling like I have failed over and over. I know the discomfort of feeling like I am out of control, but I have also come to appreciate recovery.

Because I was a good girl, I gravitated towards food instead of boys and drugs. My demons lived within my mind. I know why I developed my food issues, and I deal with them today rather than pretend they do not exist. Pretending I did not feel the way I did got me into trouble in the first place. By being honest, I am able to heal.

My mother was obsessive as was my father. My mother had food issues, and I absorbed them. I eat very much the way my mother taught me to eat, in private. I could feel my mothers anxiety around food, and like a sponge I absorbed it. I absorbed many of my mothers feelings because as a child, I did not possess emotional or psychological filters. Neither did you.

Chances are if you eat for any other reason besides that you are hungry, you were taught that you were not enough. By believing you were not enough as a child, you eat because there will never be enough food to fill that space in you that reminds you that you were never enough. Sometimes we eat to fill those psychological gashes we suffered when we were innocent children. The truth is however, unless we address our underlying thought patterns, the cycles simply continues.

One must take the time to KNOW THY SELF if recovery is to have a chance to heal those wounds and a healthy lifestyle is to be achieved.